As we were all getting spooky last Saturday night, the real horror show was over at X Factor this week - I'm looking at you, Lloyd.
The theme was Rock and Jamie Twatfro looked like the cat who'd got the cream. It would have been too delicious if he'd been voted off this week... Sadly he wasn't.
In other news, Cheryl wore an awful dress and Danyl brought suicidal feelings into every home in the UK. Yes folks, Danyl was visibly shaken by the news stories this week that he was a bully and worse than Hitler. Unlike the tabloids to coin such sensationalist hyperboles, I know, but Dan really took it to heart. Even I felt sorry for him and emotions don't come easy to me!
Anyway, on with the guitar bollocks... I mean ballads.... This is what they all sang:
Rachel - One (U2)
Stacey - Somewhere Only We Know (Keane)
Lucie - Sweet Child of Mine (Guns 'n Roses)
Joe - Don't Stop Believin' (Journey)
Lloyd - I Kissed a Girl (Katy Perry)
Danyl - Don't Wanna Miss a Thing (Aerosmith)
Jamie - Get Your Rocks Off (Primal Scream)
Olly - Come Together (The Beatles)
Jedward - We Will Rock You (Queen)
Stand out performance award goes to Olly, who was amazing. Lucie straightened her hair and looked totally different (but wasn't great). Stacey walked, which is apparently worthy of MUCH praise (she's not THAT thick, surely?). Lloyd was awful awful awful.
Rachel and Lloyd were in the sing offs. It looked like curtains for Lloyd, who could barely sing, but Simon thought Rachel was so unpopular he might as well let it go to deadlock. Naturally, Rachel was out - a massive shame as she could actually sing, unlike Lloyd. But oh well. I've got to let this go. Deep breaths, Zo's. So it's goodbye to Rach and goodbye to Sir Phil. You were both magnificent.
STILL IN THE RUNNING:
Marts - John & Edward
Neil - Jamie Afro
Hans – Joe
Mark – Lloyd
Zoë – Lucie
Natalie – Stacey
Matt – Danyl
Rona – Olly
Until next week, this is Z-Factor signing off...