Monday, 9 November 2009

X Factor Week Five (sponsored by Disney)

Hi X Fans,

This week was FILM WEEK over at X Factor. This meant they mentioned DISNEY'S A Christmas Carol every two minutes (no word on Dickens) and also ran A LOT of Disney ads in the multitude of breaks. Oh, and if you weren't subliminally conditioned enough to go out and buy a Disney DVD by that point, Joe and Lucie stepped in to sing Disney songs/talk about how much they love Disney. Sadly, Dermot didn't wear a Mickey Mouse suit.

Here's what they sang:

Stacey - Son of a Preacher Man (pretty good!)
Lucie - This is Me (barf)
Joe - Circle of Life (see Lucie)
Lloyd - Stand By Me (massive cringe)
Danyl - Purple Rain (not as good as RUTH LORENZO last year. If not, Ruth was Spanish - that was her "thing".)
Jamie - Crying (smug, irritating, needs a punch on the snout)
Olly - Twist and Shout (swoon)
Jedward - Ghostbusters (I ain't afraid of no ghost - brilliant)

Last night the Black Eyed Peas gave a strange (read: rubbish) performance and Leona Horse Face Lewis came back to remind everyone that being a good singer doesn't necessarily equate with having an interesting personality.

In a very strange twist in events, Lucie and Jedward were in the bottom two. WTF, voters, WTF? I know I don't vote (I'm not paying £1!) so I can't complain, blah blah blah, but here I am, COMPLAINING. Who is voting for Jafro and Lloyd?! Someone remove their phones from them immediately.

So Jedward sang Rock DJ and jumped up and down A LOT - they also leapt into the audience and the production crew almost had a panic attack. That wouldn't have happened on Brian "hoodie" Friedman's watch! Lucie Jones sang One Moment in Time. I'm sorry, I know she can sing but she's just so beige. Yuck.

Simon controversially took the decision to deadlock - cynics say this was tactical on his part. My sources (read: Digital Spy) whole-heartedly concur*. Lucie got the least votes, so was voted off.

Do you know what this means? DO YOU? It means I am freakin' out of the running. DAMN YOU WALES, you're meant to vote indiscriminately for anyone from Wales. You've failed me. AGAIN.

Annnnyway, still in the running...

Marts - John & Edward
Neil - Jamie Afro
Hans – Joe
Mark – Lloyd
Natalie – Stacey
Matt – Danyl
Rona – Olly


Until next week, this is Z Factor signing off...


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