- Standing at the top or bottom of tube station staircases, chatting on their phones. Getting in the way, essentially. A tell-tale sign of a Bad Idiot is someone who gets in the way and remains oblivious to that fact they're pissing everyone else off, no matter how many people furious tut at them.
- Not keeping right. There are signs everywhere telling everyone on the underground to keep right. They have put railings down the centre of walkways for a reason. Yet some people think their place to be is much more pressing than everyone else's. So what do they do? They walk down the left channel. This forces everyone the Bad Idiot is walking against having to go single file, despite the fact they're following the rules.
- Pretending to have a chat on the phone whilst a mile underground. Joke's on you, BI.
- Pull-along suitcases. They are very convenient, and don't get me wrong, I love a wheely suitcase as much as the next harrassed holiday-maker. What I don't like is the idiots on the Piccadilly Line who behave as if they're not pulling a footlong dead-weight behind them. They weave through people, cut people up and leave a river of people behind them shaking their fists and rubbing their shins. BIs don't care - they're off to Tenerife and they're fucked if anyone is going to get in their way.
- Slopping drinks. Every freakin' where. It's especially annoying as you lean across the bar to key in your PIN, or in a desperate bid to get served next, and you rest your arm in slopped drinks. You don't know what it is. Hopefully water. Yes, it must be water. Surely someone would've wiped it up if it wasn't water. Oh no, my arm smells decidedly hoppy. Great.
Monday, 27 April 2009
I'd say I look at people on average about ten times a day and think, "Why?" Now I've moved to London, my incredulity at the human race is only exacerbated. There are over 7million people living in London. I'd say 6.5million of those are what I technically classify as "bad idiots". Here are some examples of Londoners being bad idiots: